My Thoughts And Reflections On Nick Trent...

We buried my Uncle, Nicky today (No, not smoke shop Uncle Nicky, we call him Nicky D.)  This is Nicky Trent.  My mother's brother.  Today at the funeral almost all the grandchildren came up and said a few words.  I personally don't do that sort of thing.  I did it once for my grandfather when I found out that no one was planning on saying anything and it's something I'll probably never do it again.  I prefer to pay my tributes (when possible) in life.  That and I'm always afraid my emotions will get the best of me in public.

However, today, after hearing several things some friends and family had to say up at the podium.  It brought back a lot of memories and put them in perspective for me.

Nicky Trent was infamous.  He was a lot of things.  He wasn't the most trusted or well-liked man all the time and everyone seemed to "know" every flaw the man had.  But he was truly charming which is why people were attracted to him.  That being said, I truly (and I mean this) don't believe there was any true malice or intent to hurt anyone.  He was a worker.   He went into things with his whole heart.  As an old friend of his said, "Nick had a lot of dreams...finishing them was another story".

My uncle did a lot of questionable thins during the corse of his life.  But haven't we all? He was also spooked and turned off by anything involving death.  I don't think he was afraid of the physical act of dying, I think (and I can absolutely relate to this) he was afraid of dying without something somewhere saying "Nick was here".  To somehow have eternal life and be remembered.

People have always said (and not in a nice way) to me "You're just like your Uncle Nicky".  Well, you know what?  Maybe I am.  He was one of the only people I knew who truly knew you only have one life to live and one day at a time and if that's the day to do what your heart (or head) tells you to do, you do it!  If you've wanted to live in Las Vegas your whole life and finally can, pack your bags!  And that's just what he did and he was happy there.

My Uncle also had many passions and believe it or not, for hie being a mechanic, we both had a lot of the same interests.  For starters, whenever I'd stay there, and we'd have coffee together, we talked and laughed about episodes of "I Love Lucy" as if they aired for the first time the night before.  To hear him and my Aunt TT (Theresa), his wife, tell a story was like watching a comedy routine.  They were truly funny and meant for each other.  I'm not sure the world ever really figured that out..  I also liked that no matter his ignorance about something, he was never afraid to ask a question.  If he didn't know something, he simply asked.  I admire anyone who does that.  He was obsessed and I mean OBSESSED to the point of sometimes wanting to be Elvis Preslely.  In fact, he's in my phone as Elvis.  I always found it interesting how no one ever seemed to find this odd or had a problem with it but when it came to me and Judy Garland, EVERYTHING was wrong with it and it and I was considered to be "not normal".  I'm not dwelling, it's just been on my  mind for the last twenty something years.  I think it's important to have a hero.  He certainly did, I obviously do, and they get you through the hard times.  I remember as a kid, he owned the garage (on our corner) and he had a "Wizard Of Oz" photo which found may years later at a flea market, and he'd always let me come in and see it and say I could have it when I was older.  Unfortunately, it was lost.  I also remember his letting me take a broom, sit on the car lift with it and "fly" like a witch (usually wearing my witch's hat, of course).  He just got it and never questioned or judged it.  That stayed with me.

Now, the thing that came up time and again... his vanity.  Okay, now, I wouldn't call myself "vein" but I would call myself meticulous when it comes to my appearance.  At least four people mentioned how long he took in the shower/bathroom getting ready (for anything).  Then when it was YOUR turn, YOU took too long.  And every single Christmas he'd tell me that the bathroom smelled like a Whore House because of my perfume.  Mind you, I stepped into a could of whatever he had sprayed before.  But I always found it funny and would always make sure to get in a few extra sprits! I missed that this year.

This may sound like self-indulgence to some and while it's true I've inherited SOME of these traits, there is a lesson to be learned here:

DO IT!
If it makes you feel  better about yourself to have your hair perfect, you spend as much time as you need to styling it.

If listening to a record makes you happy and no one else likes it, you play it until you feel better

If you have a passion that seems odd weather it be restoring antique cars or collecting Judy Garland and Oz memorabilia and it makes you happy, GO FOR IT!

My Uncle was a true original.  He did what he liked the way he wanted to do it and if someone didn't like it, too bad.  Now, of course, he made his share of mistakes.  Some big, some small.  But the quality I'll always hold nearest and dearest to my heart is that he just didn't care.  I mean that in the best way possible.  He was one of the least judgmental people I ever knew.  He didn't care about your orientation, color, background... none of that insignificant hogwash.  To him, people were people..  Be who you are and don't apologize to ANYONE. That's his legacy, at least to me.  Before I wrap this up, I just want to say to him directly (not that he'd bother to read this unless it was about a car for sale), Uncle Nick, you always made me laugh, I always loved you, I enjoyed busting your stones perhaps more than anyone (excluding Aunt Linda) and I hope that while you're up there playing poker with Elvis, Marilyn, James, Bogie, and the rest of the crew, you tell Judy I'll  be seeing her soon.  ;)  I love you, Elvis!

Till we meet again,
Vince <3 nbsp="" p="">
Some things I learned from Uncle Nicky:
1. Always make sure your hair is perfection
2.  Use Witch Hazel after you shave (do not do this, many fabulous products have been invented since then)
3. Use a fine-tooth comb and some small scissors to trim your eyebrows if they seem a bit on the busy side
5. Be who you are and don't apologize for it.
6. Live and let live and mind your own goddamn business
7. Hold up your head even when you know everyone in the room is looking down on you and and judging you.
8. You don't need a reason for loving or admiring anything.
9.Get a fog-proof mirror
10. Look back and laugh, what else can you do?

Uncle Nicky and I sometime in the early 90's.

Nick Trent, Little Vincent, and  Nicky D.

Where I know he is right now having the time of his life!

What Could I Possibly Have To Be Thankful For?

While making myself a cup of Ovaltine and freezing, I suddenly came to the realization that it's nearly Thanksgiving which means that it's nearly Christmas.  I'm usually not one to jump the gun on holidays (unless of course, it involves shopping), but standing there, with my ice cold feet (cloaked by three layers of socks and a pair of fuzzy slippers), I started to actually think about Thanksgiving, Christmas, holidays, and gratitude and all the rest of that nonsense you're too busy to think of at any other time but at 3 a.m. while you're standing in the dark instead of sleeping with the rest of the world....

Though in my head, I'm pretty optimistic and try to look at things through the eyes of a 40's musical heroine, outside of my head and through my eyes, I'm not blind to the fact that I'm actually rather prickly, neurotic, sometimes insecure, bitter, and down right AWFUL.  But that doesn't stop me (see, that's where the musical heroine comes in.).  I really began to go through the roll-index of crazy, ridiculous, horrifying, scary, miserable, untimely, tragic, and ultimately destructive shit that has happened in my life.  Then, my mind immediately went to all of the funny, sappy, adorable, lovely, flattering, RIDICULOUS things that have happened in my life.  And every single one of those things came to mind in the form of a person.

I've been told (by more than an appropriate number of people) that I just appeared in the world fully formed.   It's as if I've always been a hundred years old.  Which, yes, has been used as both an insult and a compliment when calling me an "old soul".  And I can't really argue.  I agree with that explanation of the way I seem to be and have always seemed to feel.  The thing is, "coming into the world" that way makes it kind of hard to find "your people".  Who could possibly identify with that or want to deal with it?  You come with your own set of rules written in a language that NO ONE (not even you) understands.  However, I've been very spoiled because, even though I've tried, I never really found my people.  They've all found me.  I've been lucky enough to know and encounter some of the most colorful, interesting, diverse people there are in the last 20-something years that I can't imagine there are more out there!  But there are.  And weather "my people" have known me since the day I was born, or just randomly walked into my life and became my family, they're MY people and they seem to be in that incoherent little rule book in plain sight.  To truly not "need" people (yes, I'm going all Barbra on your asses) to me, is tragic.  Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world.  I can't say that I'll never be lonely again or that I won't have moments and lapses where I truly do feel alone, but, even though I make it a rule for myself and anyone I know to NEVER apologize for feelings, I want to sincerely apologize to my people who, you guessed it...have made me one of the luckiest people in the world.  Yeah, I just went there.  How predictable.

I'm glad that all of my baggage comes with an individual luggage tag signed in different handwriting.  I probably seem completely unchanged on the outside, but, what was once in this technicolor, withered- before- it's- time shell of what resembles a human, is considerably changed from what was there when it appeared in a world that seemed black and white.  And as saccharine as it sounds, that really is what I'm thankful for.  In case you missed all of the idiotic metaphors and song lyrics, it's people.  I'm thankful for people.

I'm not going to start caring about orphans or planting trees in Israel any time soon, but I really do thank everyone who has been there in any way to either delight or irritate me in the last two to three hundred decades.  The best of them usually do both at the same time.

Thanks, Kids.

"Hunger and thirst, but first be a person who needs people..."

Watch: The Lady in Question is Charles Busch

Watch: The Lady in Question is Charles Busch

"The Wizard Of Oz" 75th Anniversary IMAX 3-D Release

Andrew & I at the movie theater after our EXTREMELY

long but fabulous day. :)

Andrew got me a replica of the Wicked Witch's hat from

"Oz: The Great & Powerful" while we were in The Disney Store :)

And yes, I'm a dork so it made my day! <3 i="">

Well, the real beginning of the many celebrations Warner Bros. has in store for the 75th Anniversary of "The Wizard Of Oz", my all-time favorite movie and life's dedication (along with Judy, of corse) was the re-release of the film in IMAX 3-D for the first time ever!  I've been hearing rumors and speculation about this for years now but who knew if it would ever really happen and if so, how it would turn out?  It was publicly released on September 20th to rave reviews and unanimous praise from critics and fans alike.  

Clearly, the reviews have nothing to do with the actual movie.  I mean, it's "Oz"!  It's the most watched and beloved movie ever made so it's success really depended on the execution of the IMAX restoration.  In 2009, for it's 70th Anniversary, Warner's released a PRISTINELY restored print from the original three-strip technicolor negative for DVD and Blu-Ray.  The movie truly never looked better... until NOW!  

After the Broadway (Equity Fights AIDS) Flea Market today, which will be a blog in itself, Andrew took me to see it in Manhattan.  I'd read all the articles, heard all the hype, talked to a few people who've seen it since it was released earlier this week, and even though I make it a rule NEVER to give into hype or expect things like this to live up to it, I made an exception because, for me, it's quite the event.  I was not disappointed!  Not only did it live up to my expectations, it surpassed them beyond my wildest imagination! They've done EVERYTHING they can with the film as far as removing dirt, aligning the strips of color, restoring the sound etc. in '09.  It's been restored using the best possible technology available in the world.  Now the real question:  How do you take a 75 year old movie everyone has seen a million times and make it look like something new without destroying the original integrity of the film and making it look like a cheap ploy to prey on us Oz fans who will buy anything and EVERYTHING available to us?  

Well, Congratulations, Warner Brothers!  You've done it (again)!  Classic movie fans have come to expect a certain standard of quality from Warners for a while now.  They began restoring films like "Meet Me In St. Louis", "Gone With The Wind", "Singin' In The Rain", "Easter Parade", and so on and so forth a few years back.  The first really major release was the Blu-Ray version o Judy's "A Star Is Born" which was done using original eliminates and the highest bit-rate quality available at the tine.  But the pristine restorations have been going on since the early 2000's, but somehow they constantly manage to surpass their own best work.  I think it's because this truly is a labor of love for the people who do this painstaking work. Reportedly over 1,000 people worked on this particular version of "Oz" and let me tell you, it shows!  

From the very first scene when the lion roars, you're astounded!  It's a brand new movie, yet it's the same film with the same characters we all grew up knowing and loving.  I won't sit here and list every single moment of the movie.  I mean we've all seen it!  However some moments were just so breathtaking, they absolutely warrant mentioning.  Let's start with "Over The Rainbow", naturally!  To see up close like that makes you feel like she's right there, singing only to you.  She look ravishing.  And of corse, that moment we all wait for when she opens the door and leaves the black & white (or sepia) Kansas behind and reveals the Colorful Land Of Oz for the first time has always been movie magic at it's best and the moment we all wait for; but now, it's unlike anything you've ever seen!  You're actually THERE!  Every detail, every flower, every color, every bumble bee in every flower is surrounding you and you're just transported to Oz.  The first time you see The Wicked Witch of The West appear in her signature red and orange smoke, it seems as if it could make you cough, it's so realistic!  Glinda's wand, the Witche's broom (those small details) are really neat to see in 3-D.  I must say though, for me, the two moments that just made me gasp out loud were the first glimpse you get The Emerald City and the shot showing the flying monkeys coming to abduct everyone for the witch.

As usual, I cried several times.  I start at the first note of "Over The Rainbow" and then by the time Dorothy turns to the Scarecrow and says "I think I'll miss you most of all", I've gone through three packs of travel Kleenex.  

25 years ago when Oz had it's 50th Anniversary, a lot of really quality merchandise was produced.  Since then, the copyright has been sold and it's now all in Warner's hands. They have managed over the years since they acquired the rights to produce some nice things and five years ago for the 70th Anniversary, they did put out some cute things like Pez dispensers, a few dolls, and a handful of other okay collectables including the best "Ultimate Box Set" since "The Ultimate Oz" back in the 90's when MGM still had the rights and we, the world, still used VHS tapes.  The 60th Anniversary set wasn't all THAT impressive.  It was basically a rehash of the "Ultimate" set with different photos and glossier covers.  However, this was also the beginning of high-def and the first really great DVD release, which at the time was a new thing.  But here we are, fifteen years later, and fifteen years more technologically advanced, and I must say, I'm impressed with what we have to look forward to this year!  This new latest "Ultimate" box set includes literally every form of media available to watch the movie on in it's new (and semi-new) glory and a few new other little glories.  Also, due to the recent "Oz: The Great And Powerful", which was a big hit with the kids for Disney, Warners has launched a $25 million dollar ad campaign to promote the film (which is already seeing profits) and the box set and various home video releases haven't even been put on the shelves yet!  Also, a few of the things i+I've seen are of pretty good quality, reminiscent of what we were seeing back in 1989 for the 50th Anniversary, which makes me really happy and excited as a lifelong devoted Oz collector!  There are even some updated re-releases like John Fricke's fabulous Pictorial Oz History starting with its birth in 1900 as a children's book.  At the end of this post, I'll include a few highlights (old and new) along with some links .  However, I think that's enough babbling on about this for one evening.  It's an exciting year for Oz fans (albeit and expensive one!).  So make it as Oz-Some as possible! Yes, I just used the term Oz-Some (because it's 4 am and I've been in the streets of Manhattan all day rooting through vintage theatre memorabilia) don't judge until you've walked a mile in my Ruby Slippers.

2013 Ultimate Box set due in October

(Amazon.com Exclusive Version):

Special Features:

Hours of extra content including:
-Sing-a-long feature with the film
-Complete Magic Cloak of Oz silent shorts (60 min)
-All-New Feature Length Documentary The Making of the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
-The Dreamer of Oz TV Special (101 min)
-Munchkins at the Hollywood Walk of Fame Featurette (20 min)
-Patchwork Girl of Oz (60 min)
-6 hr. MGM Documentary When the Lion Roars (exclusive to Blu-Ray)
...and more

Exclusive Promotional Items:
-52 pg Hardcover Photo Book
-Ruby Slippers Sparkle Globe
-Collectible Award Pin Set by The Noble Collection
-Journal
-Frameable Map of Oz

Amazon exclusive Promotional Item:
-4 GB "Wicked Witch of the East" flash drive

The Wonderful World Of Oz 

By: John Fricke

The wonderful world of Oz is a magical place—and has been for generations of Americans since L. Frank Baum penned his enduring classic in 1900. With the 1939 movie starring Judy Garland, Oz was forever woven into our culture. Over the course of the 20th century, Oz continued to capture the hearts of the American people—as well as people all over the world.

This book documents that magical journey through beautiful photographs of the world’s largest collection of Oz memorabilia. Whether it’s first-edition covers, a munchkin costume, or the Wickedplaybill, the iconic items on these pages tell the story of America’s most beloved fairy tale. Come over the rainbow and see why there truly is no place like Oz.

The Wizard of Oz: The Official 75th Anniversary Companion

 by William Stillman

An over-the-top, beautifully designed book that commemorates the seventy-fifth anniversary of The Wizard of Oz. Officially licensed with Warner Bros., this collectible edition features accessible text, a host of never-before-seen ephemera, and nine removable features.

Written by the foremost authorities on the subject—Jay Scarfone and William Stillman—and designed in close collaboration with Warner Bros., The Wizard of Oz: The Official 75th Anniversary Companiondelivers an entertaining and interactive experience, transporting readers over the rainbow and into the wonderful Land of Oz. The authors detail filmmaking secrets—the inspiration behind the film's realistic tornado; why Dorothy's shoes were ruby-colored; and how the filmmakers got a fleet of monkeys to fly—and reveal never-before-seen artwork from their personal collection, including, but not limited to, rare stills, Technicolor test frames, and costume and set illustrations.

The Wizard of Oz Collectible Set: A Commemorative Trip Down the Yellow Brick Road 

by Running Press

For anyone who was ever enthralled by the story of Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, this the perfect keepsake celebrating some of the most popular elements from The Wizard of Oz.
Miniature ceramic commemorative plate with easel

A Ruby Slippers pendant
A 9 x 12” The Wizard of Oz poster tied with ribbon
64-page book: A “75 Years of Oz” introduction is followed by a novelization of the story, illustrated with full-color photos from the movie.

The Wizard of Oz: The Wicked Witch of the West Light-Up Crystal Ball

 by Running Press

Generation after generation of fans have fallen under the spell of The Wizard of Oz and this officially licensed kit focuses on the ever-popular Wicked Witch of the West. Kit includes a figurine of the Wicked Witch of the West with a light-up crystal ball that glows green, plus a 32-page book of full-color photos and quotes from the movie.

The Making of The Wizard of Oz

 by Aljean Harmetz

This is actually one of my favorite Oz (movie-related) books.  It's been around for years and has been re-released a few times with different covers.  It is THE definitive "making of" book even if you're just into old Hollywood and/or the studio system.  FANTASTIC book!  With a forward by Margaret Hamilton.

Synopsis:

Released in conjunction with the 75th-anniversary DVD release of The Wizard of Oz, this book is the definitive story of how one of America’s most beloved movies was made and a marvelous, unprecedented examination of how Hollywood used to make movies. This updated edition includes numerous photos and shares hundreds of interviews with cameramen, screenwriters, costume designers, directors, producers, light technicians, actors, and more to reveal how the factory-like Hollywood system of moviemaking miraculously produced one of the most enduring films ever made. From the scandalous headlines of Munchkin orgies at the Culver City Hotel and the Witch’s (accidental) burning to the building of the Emerald City and the sewing of nearly 1,000 costumes, The Making ofThe Wizard of Oz provides a richly detailed re-creation of MGM’s production No. 1060 and a detail-by-detail, department-by-department look at the most powerful and flamboyant studio Hollywood has ever known.

"It seems like happiness is just a thing called Joe..."

Tomorrow it will be one year since my brother, Joey, died.  I was up all night thinking about it and it amazes me  the memories that come flooding back when I'm alone in the dark in the middle of the night.  It's truly the worst time of the day for me.  It's the only time I have totally to myself without anyone or anything to distract me and I hate it.  I can remember every time I made him laugh, every time I yelled at him, every joke he made at my expense, everything he ever said to me, even his facial expressions and his speech pattern.

The fact that it's already been a year alone is enough to make my head spin.  What's happened to me and in my life in that time is just incredible in so many ways.  But anything good is as bittersweet as it comes.  I think about him every single day almost constantly but in order to control myself I have to push him into a corner of my mind where he's there but not really there.  If I think too hard it literally becomes unbearable to think that he's really gone.  I'm not one for kids and never really have been, but I love Joey & Joshie more than I knew it was possible to love another person.  Anyone who knows me can probably attest to that, even though there are some who think they know me inside and out but in reality know nothing.

Joey was truly an extraordinary kid.  I suppose anyone can say that in retrospect about someone they loved who's passed away, but in this case, I think a lot of people share my sentiments about him.  From the day he was born, he had this power to bring people together.  When my mother was pregnant with him, we had all just moved into a large house in New Jersey.  We were two families, neither of which wanted to be there and who couldn't agree on anything.  Then, this little boy was born and we all loved him to pieces.  If there was anything in that house that made us a "family" it was Joey (and later on, Joshie).  He had a strong personality for a little boy and he reminded me a lot of myself.  He was always watching and listening and I always got the sense he knew what was going on.  He was always looking out for people around him.  Even a few days before he died, I remember my little cousin, Palma was crying outside and he heard her in his practically comatose state, not even able to keep is eyes open, and said, "What's wrong with Palma? Is she okay?".  When he was diagnosed with cancer and people started holding fundraisers and things for him, he did it again.  Brought people together.  My friend, Angelina and I put on a little Cabaret show to raise some money for his charity fund two days before Christmas and I was really overwhelmed by how many people (friends & strangers) came out to sing, donate, and support him.  One thing I've always said about Joey and Josh is that they're the two most grateful kids  I've ever met.  Any little gift you'd give them or any little thing you did for them would always be met with a big smile and a "thank you!".  I remember once I got them these silly little comic books from the dollar store just in the check out line and when I got home I handed them to Joey not even thinking about it and you'd have thought I just got him a new bicycle.  He beamed and ran to get Josh and John (his father) "Hey Josh! Look what Vincent got us! Dad! Look it's Spiderman! Can you read them to us!?".  When I moved out of my mother's every time I'd see him, he'd give me a big hug and say "We miss you, Vint.  We haven't seen you for a while".  He was the easiest kid in the world to please.

The night he died, I was on my way back to my mother's house but first had to go to a concert Matthew was doing in Montclair so I could drive back to South Jersey with Robin & Gene.  At that point he wasn't doing so well and we knew it was just a matter of time.  Toward the end of the show, they sang a really beautiful spiritual hymn that I can't recall the name of, but it made me cry.  It was the first time I'd cried in a while and I just got this feeling.  I knew.  It was like an instinct.  As soon as the concert ended, I went out to find cell phone service and found out that he had died right about the time they were singing that last song.  It was like he was saying goodbye to me and oddly enough in the place where I'm happiest, the theater.

I know Joey knew I loved him.  I remember talking to him in the middle of the night when I'd stay over my mother's (he was an insomniac too) and we'd have real conversations which is rare with an eight or nine year old.  He was a very old soul and was always listening and eager to learn.  Even a year later, I don't know that I've fully accepted his death or let myself feel the full force of emotion I know I'm keeping at bay out of pure fear.  A lot of people have always had a lot of things to say about me and it is what it is.  It doesn't get to me so much anymore but the one thing I will never forgive or let anyone get away with is ANYONE saying or implying I don't or didn't care about my brother.  How dare anyone (and in such a certain and accusatory way) tell another person how they feel!? Particularly when it comes to death.  There's no handbook that tells you what to do or how to handle these things.  I've watched a lot of people I love pass away and a lot of lives cut short but still nothing could have prepared me for the range of emotion this brought out in me.  And mostly in private, which to some people is practically a crime.  If you're not making a fuss, posting seventy facebook statuses a day, and dramatically throwing yourself into an open grave, clearly you didn't care enough, right?  Of all the emotions and feelings I've had about this, that part of it is the only one that actually makes me angry.  Anyway, it's all over now and I'm sure anyone who had anything like that to say to or about me did so out of grief or a need for validation at the time.

The point of all of this is that it's important when grieving the loss of a loved one, be it a child or someone in their nineties, to do what you have to do to get through it.  Find the support you need and try to ignore the rest as hard as that may be.  No one has the right to tell you how to act or how to feel.  It's a deeply personal thing and the only one who can truly know how you feel and what is right for you is YOU.

In the final analysis, I suppose the only thing one can do to move forward is to count your blessings and appreciate life that much more.  I'm definitely a moody one, but I'm grateful every single day for my home, my friends, my family, the things I've been lucky enough to do and see and the things I still have to do and see before my time is up.  I live for the time I get to spend with the people I care about and no matter how much time that is, it never seems like enough.  I guess that's a good thing in a way.  Joey may have only lived nine years, but what he was able to do in those nine years in terms of generating love and togetherness in people is something I've been trying to do my entire life and I'm still working at it.  So, even though I'd give anything to have him here, At the top of my list of blessings is the fact that I had the privilege of knowing, loving, learning from, and being loved by such an incredible little boy.  I love you, Joey.

Goodnight, Sleep tight

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

If they do, hit 'em with a shoe

Beat 'em till they're black & blue.

F*CK CANCER!

Okay, as anyone who knows me knows, I rarely weigh in on current events or things like this unless of course, they involve celebrity gossip, movies, divas, or jewelry.  However, this story INFURIATED me!

My cousin, Nicole, sent me this article she found, which was actually quite timely because my mother asked me to get her a "Fuck Cancer" t-shirt for her birthday.  Now, I'm not a fan of those shirts not for any moral reason or anything like that, I'm just not a fan of slogans like that.  But hey, if that's how you want to show your support, go for it!  I wear my Barbra concert shirts and Broadway show shirts all the time in celebration of the things I care about.  

This whole "Fuck Cancer" campaign has been around for a while and I believe the proceeds from these products go to cancer research.  I've seen it a lot on facebook and I get it.  I've lost and nearly lost a lot of people I really care about to cancer and yes, it is maddening but wearing something to constantly remind me of it is not the best way for me personally to deal with it.  That's just me, but I do appreciate the rebellion.  Anyway, the point of all this is, long story short, is that a group of sisters who just lost their mother to cancer were eating in a mall and were all wearing "F*CK CANCER" baseball caps.  They were then approached by security and asked to take them off, then when they refused, they were asked to leave, and then surrounded and THREATENED by a slew of security with the prospect of the cops being called as if you could be arrested for wearing such a thing (I should mention they had a child with them who was petrified through all this).  And apparently, it's within the mall's rights to do this.  

Why does this make me so angry?  Because I work in a mall, I've been shopping in malls my entire life and every single day I see people (male and female of ALL ages) wearing shirts, hats, pants, whatever saying things like "Lick this", "Suck that", "Fuck this", "You're a ____" , "Eat my ___"... you name it! And I have NEVER known a single one to be reprimanded or even acknowledged.  But these girls who just lost their mother instead of being shown the tiniest bit of compassion or even treated with a little bit of respect as people are treated like common criminals?  That's just a disgrace.  The same people who are threatening to arrest people expressing their opinions and dealing with their grief in their own way are the same ones who are always harping about "Freedom of speech" and "Free expression", and of course, what the world owes them.  It sickens me.  It really does.  The shirt that should be trending is "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?".  Walk an inch in the shoes of someone who's lost a loved one to an incurable disease and felt helpless then tell me you're "offended" while you're probably listening to some rap song about how cool STD's are.  

In the last few years I've lost a lot of friends to AIDS too including one just two days ago.  How long is it going to be before it's not just the gay-hating Christians who have a problem with people showing support for a cure for that as well?  I can't believe how far back we continue to regress.

...and in case there was any question, yes, I'm buying my mother the T-shirt and the bumper stickers!

The full article from Philly.com is here:

Did cancer hats go too far?

05/22/2013 11:01 AM

DAVID MAIALETTI / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Makia Underwood (from left), her sister Zakia Clark and their uncle Curran Underwood wear their anti-cancer gear yesterday in Philadelphia. King of Prussia Mall security took offense to the hats Sunday.

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BY STEPHANIE FARR
Philadelphia Daily News

Daily News Staff Writer farrs@phillynews.com, 215-854-4225

JUST HOURS before dawn on May 14, Jackie Underwood's three daughters held her in their arms as the cancer stole the last breath from her broken body.

For many days before, and almost every day since, her children - Makia Underwood, 32, Zakia Clark, 29, and Tasha Clark, 27 - have worn hats and shirts that read "F--- CANCER," with the "C" in "F---" replaced by a breast-cancer-awareness ribbon.

"That's how we feel. It took our mom away. It's a demon. It's the devil," Zakia Clark said. "There are no other words you can use to explain how you feel. You want cancer to get cancer and die."

Zakia and Tasha Clark were wearing their black-and-pink "F--- CANCER" hats Sunday when the three sisters went to King of Prussia Mall with a group of friends and relatives to pick out a dress for Zakia's 9-year-old daughter to wear to her grandmother's funeral today.

The group shopped for 2 1/2 hours, then split up, and Zakia and Tasha, Zakia's daughter, an adult female friend and two girls younger than 5 grabbed something to eat from Master Wok at the mall's upper-level food court.

The ladies had just sat down when a security guard approached them and, without a greeting, ordered: " 'Take your hats off,' " Zakia said.

Zakia took hers off, but Tasha, who once worked at the mall, told the guard she wanted to see something in writing.

It was almost as if Tasha were channeling their mother's strong spirit, Zakia said, and it inspired her to put her own hat back on.

"He said, 'Since you don't want to take your hat off, you can leave my mall,' " Zakia recalled. "He stood there while we ate and threatened to call the cops."

Out of nowhere, Zakia said, seven more guards surrounded them.

"I was very embarrassed," she said. "My daughter was so scared she was crying."

As the group was escorted to the mall office, Makia called and met up with them.

"I couldn't believe they were acting like they were going to arrest my sisters," she said.

Once they got to the office, the women were met by an Upper Merion Township police officer, who had been called to the mall by security guards.

"The officer said, 'I find it offensive that you even have that hat that says 'F--- CANCER,' " Zakia said. "He said, 'It's their mall, they want you out, you have to get out.' "

The women were escorted out, and two security cars were waiting for them at their car just to make sure they left, Zakia said.

"I just wanted to tell them the whole story," Makia said of the guards. "I wanted to tell them a monster came into our house, got into my mother and we had to watch that until the day it took her, so don't tell me it's offensive to say, 'F--- CANCER.' "

Jackie Underwood was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004. She had a breast removed, but refused chemotherapy or radiation, Makia said.

"She said, 'I'm going to be fine,' " Makia recalled.

And she was - for seven years.

But in 2011, Jackie called Makia and said her breast was hurting and she would go for chemo.

Makia, a hairdresser who owns Hair Trance boutique on 22nd Street near Allegheny Avenue in Tioga, shaved her mother's head and went to treatments with her.

On Labor Day weekend 2012, Jackie began an eerie, uncontrollable laugh. The cancer had spread to her brain.

"I took her to the emergency room and they said there were all these tumors floating around," Makia said.

In October, doctors told the women that their mother had three months to live.

Instead of spending those months in a hospital, she was cared for by her daughters in her Northeast Philadelphia home.

Makia closed her salon and had her customers come to her mother's house so she could take care of her during the day.

Zakia and Tasha would relieve her when they got out of work.

The women bathed their mother, fed her and changed her diapers, just as she had done for them many years earlier.

"It was gruesome to watch," Makia said. "When I watch monster movies, that's the image I have of cancer - the zombie movie or the movie when Will Smith was the only person left alive. That's what the clinics look like."

Toward the end, Makia watched the cancer spread over her mother like a plague. In the last two weeks, it went to her throat and lungs and she couldn't talk anymore.

About 3 a.m. May 14, Makia watched her mother's breathing slow.

"I called my sisters downstairs and said, 'Death is coming,' " she said. "And it came, and that was that."

Jackie Underwood was 51.

One of Makia's clients who went to her mother's house after she closed her shop was Tiffany Wade, a registered nurse.

Wade, 29, has watched the effects of cancer on patients for years, but was particularly moved by Jackie's plight and her daughters' anguish.

"Your hairdresser is your counselor," Wade said. "She was in so much pain."

Although Jackie had health insurance from her job at the post office, Wade wanted to do something to help offset the cost of related expenses for the family.

So Wade decided to make the "F--- CANCER" clothing. She estimates that she has sold 200 items and said the money she has raised has gone to help 11 families dealing with cancer.

"When you watch your mother turn from a super-strong woman to a woman who can't walk, can't talk, can't breathe, you get so frustrated," Wade said. "You really feel like, 'F--- CANCER.' That's how you feel in your heart."

Wade said the sisters' experience at the mall was a first.

"I felt so bad they had to be the family to get thrown out," she said. "What's the odds that the one I started it for gets thrown out of the mall?"

After the Daily News began looking into the incident, Les Morris, spokesman for Simon Property Group in Indianapolis, which owns King of Prussia Mall, called Zakia yesterday to apologize.

Zakia said Morris was sincere and even asked for her mother's name and inquired about her battle with cancer.

"Certainly this could have been handled in a much more empathic and sensitive manner," Morris told the People Paper. "We're very sorry about her loss and wanted to apologize for the way her party was treated."

Morris said it's important for the mall to be "flexible."

"I do think this is an entirely different situation than a 16-year-old kid with a swear word on his T-shirt cruising the mall," he said. "We need to be empathic, sympathetic, and listen and make sure that we're approaching each situation as it comes up."

To express their displeasure with the way they were treated, the sisters and Wade had planned a protest for 7 p.m. tomorrow at the mall entrance near Nordstrom, Zakia said.

The event will go on as scheduled, and they will wear their "F--- CANCER" hats and shirts, she said. But in light of the apology, it will be more of an awareness rally against cancer.

The sisters won't be wearing those shirts and hats today.

This morning, at their mother's funeral at Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church in East Mount Airy, they will wear white, as their mother did to every funeral.

Afterward, Jacqueline Denise Underwood will be laid to rest a few blocks away in Chelten Hills Cemetery.

For those who survive, only time can heal the pain.

"I'm not mad at God," Makia said yesterday. "But the picture of my mother I was left with is beyond 'F--- CANCER.' "