"Judy & Me"

I'm not really sure how to start this entry. As anyone who knows me (or reads this blog) can attest, I'm a Judy Garland fanatic. It goes beyond your run of the mill fan or admirer. It's deeper than that. Judy is one of those people that manifests that kind of obsessive "She can do no wrong" fan. There are only a handful of people in the Entertainment business who have been able to do this. Among them, of course are Barbra Streisand, Frank Sinatra, Madonna, and more recently, Lady GaGa.

But this isn't about any of that really. This is about my personal experience. My entire life people have asked me over and over again, "Why do you love her so much?" and I can never give them a straight answer. I asked several people about this who've known me for a very long time and know me very well. They had some interesting things to say and nothing that I can argue or disagree with. It baffles even me. But really, do we ever know exactly why we love someone or something? I mean isn't that what chemistry is? It's just there.

I first discovered Judy at the age of two. "The Harvey Girls" was on television and I was sitting in my little blue fuzzy chair (which I refused to give up until I was about seven and it was in shreds) and I will never forget the first time I saw her. She stepped off a train during a number and that was it. It was literally love at first sight. I couldn't take my eyes off of her for a second. When the movie was over I wanted more of her. My mother, probably a few days later, the timeline is a little fuzzy since I was barely a toddler, showed me "Meet Me In St. Louis" and I always carry the image of Judy sitting in the window singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". Then the big moment came. I finally saw "The Wizard of Oz"! And really, is there any coming back after that? I was a full blown addict!

I'd look at this woman on the screen and stare into those big brown eyes (I used to wait patiently for any close up of her face) and I just knew that whatever it was inside of me that I couldn't express, she had too and would understand. It was instinctive. And it has been ever since. As I grew and learned more about her (good and bad) the similarities became almost scary. People describe her "erratic" behavior all the time in interviews and it doesn't phase me because I understand it. Perhaps that says something about me, but the fact remains that my adoration for her goes far beyond her incomparable talent or even her extraordinary life. It's her. It's the kind of person she was. The humor she used to overcome whatever difficulties she faced, the GOOD things. Not this "tragic" nonsense. Judy Garland was NOT a tragedy by any means. Yes, like all of us, tragic things happened in her life, but they never defined her and that's why people love her weather they know it or not. She once wrote about her audience "They match their own sadness and happiness to mine and they identify with it. It's tragedy, baggy pants comedy, and overcoming troubles". Isn't that what we all want?

Judy was found dead at forty seven. Her life was a whirlwind and she had about fifteen minutes off in her forty seven years. But my God, what a life in that short time! Given the circumstances she was under, it's a miracle she survived that long. That alone is a testament to the kind of woman she was. This is a PERSON who should not be objectified or defined by drugs, fame, behavior, troubles, or anything of the sort. This is a woman who should be celebrated over and over for giving us so much and getting so little in return. I don't feel sorry for Judy. She wouldn't want that. She lived the most marvelous life and she did everything she ever wanted to do. That's a life. Perhaps it burned bright and flickered out fast, but she will be remembered forever and live on through her immense talent, her delightful wit, her brilliant contributions to the entertainment industry and popular culture, and in the hearts of those who loved and continue to love her so much. Since her death, she has only increased in popularity. New generations continue to discover her and fall under her spell. Every child knows Dorothy and in time, they find out there's much more to her than a girl in pigtails.

In conclusion, I suppose I still don't have a specific answer as to why I love Judy Garland. Many people don't understand it. In fact, just today, someone who shall remain nameless lectured me on how "wrong" and "retarded" it was. Not only did that not phase me, it made me even more happy to give in to my love and adoration for her. There are so many reasons to love her, so I suppose my answer, if I must have one is... I love Judy because she's Judy. There will never be anyone like her and that's as it should be.